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day 5: my greatest fear…

Posted in 30 Day Challenge with tags , , , , , , , , on May 5, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

When I think about fear I usually think about something like a fear of drowning, or a fear of losing a loved one. There are also phobias, which are mental conditions, which cause people to be frightened of things that most people wouldn’t consider to be frightening. For the longest time I didn’t think I had any fears or phobias. I’ve always considered myself to be a strong enough individual to get through any kind of crap that life throws at me, and believe me, life has thrown all kinds of crap right over me. I actually think life hired some sort of crap sniper to follow me around and shoot crap at me in smooth direct hit motions. The point is, I’m still standing. I’ve had many low points, but I’m still here. I’ve done what I needed to do in order to move on from each crap pile the crap sniper shot me with. So when someone would ask me what my greatest fear is, I’ve always said nothing. I don’t have any fears.

When I came to the topic of todays challenge, I actually dove deep inside myself, because there had to be something I was truly afraid of. I’m not some fearless super hero that risks her life everyday to save someone else’s, and even if I were, super hero’s have fears too. So, I took an imaginary elevator from my brain, down past my heart, right into the pit of my stomach. Where those feelings of fright start brewing. I took a walk, it was really gooey and all different shades of red. My shoe got stuck on something of a crimson colour, so I had to grab hold of some veiny type things and hoist myself out, fun times. Looking around, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, everything there had its purpose. I was just about to leave when something silver in the very far distance caught my eye, at first I didn’t think anything of it because I have terrible vision, I should wear glasses, but they broke 7 years ago and I haven’t gotten around to getting them fixed yet. I decided to check it out anyway, might as well while I’m here right? I walked over, and realized this something silver, was behind what looked like a curtain of stomach innards. I pulled them back to reveal a metal box. Not a very big one, in fact, I was able to pick it up, it was light. When I picked it up, I heard a huge clicking noise. The box unlocked.

When I opened this box, all that was in there was a little replica of my first car. A little Pontiac Sunfire, black…it even had my old license plate on it. It had all my old CD’s still on the visor, it was amazing, now I know what some of you are thinking, I’m afraid of my old car. Like the old Stephen King novel it’s going to turn into a modern day Christine. I am sorry to say but that is not the case.

I started to have flashbacks of the last day I drove my car…the accident I had gotten into. Now don’t get all concerned, it wasn’t a major accident, more like a fender bender. However, since then, I have developed a fear of the road, but here’s the kicker…I only have this fear of the road, in high volumes of traffic. That’s when I panic. I’m guessing it’s because my accident occurred during rush hour.  Now this accident happened over 10 years ago, but I have never actually been able to deal with that fear. I haven’t been able to move on from it because I just stopped driving. It’s seems so ridiculous to me though, because now that I am aware of it, I realize that I have had this fear since that day, however I hadn’t really noticed it because when you live in a large city, owning a car is more of a hassle then a necessity.

So there you have it folks, I’m afraid of traffic. I don’t even know how to begin to tackle this one, I mean I could always create a super hero character, who instead of fighting crime, fights traffic…I could call him Captain Rush (hour) because that’s the only time he’s on duty? I dunno…this could be a thing…



day 3: something i wish i was great at…

Posted in 30 Day Challenge, Life with tags , , , , , , , , on May 3, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

I chose this topic for today, because lately I have actually been thinking about what things out there I am actually good at, I honestly wish I was great at ANYTHING else other than what I am good at. I wish I was great at cooking so that I don’t have to put the fire department on standby every time I want to eat a meal. For those of you wondering, yes, I have had to call the fire department while I was heating up a beef patty in the oven. I wish I were great at playing guitar, just like those people who can pick up their guitar anywhere and strum anything and it actually sounds musical instead of sounding like screeching chalkboard fingers murdered a cat who had his testicles chopped off. I know that sounds terrible, but it paints a picture true to what I actually sound like when playing a guitar. I wish I were great with math, instead of having to count on my fingers, then losing the count I had and having to start over again. Speaking of numbers, I wish I were great with money, instead of spending it on useless junk that I absolutely MUST have for no reason. I wish I were great at making things, so that I don’t have to go out and spend my hard earned money on the useless crap that I MUST have. I wish I were great at driving, (also not afraid of the other vehicles on the road), so that I could take my new Jeep out for an occasional spin around the block and not freak out every time I see a car. These are just a few things off the top of my head on what I wish I was great at.
Instead, I am great at things that are ABSOLUTELY useless. Like for example being difficult. I excel at being difficult. I am the most stubborn person I have ever met in my life. I am the biggest fan of devil’s advocacy you will ever meet, for absolutely no reason at all, and it’s because of that I have developed my difficultness. It’s horrible, my friends should hate me for it, but thankfully they don’t…yet.
I am amazing at crosswords, and not the actual impressive ones from the New York Times either, nope…no, I do the shitty ones that you find in local commuting newspapers. The only reason I am actually good at them is because they reuse their words and clues, so really I’m good at remembering, and before you get all supportive about my memory, I’m ONLY good at remembering those particular things because I’ve done so many they are permanently embedded into my brain.
I’m good at not spoiling the endings of shows/books/movies etc…big friggen deal, the internet ruins that anyway so I might as well spoil things. You think I would actually think that way but I don’t. I don’t even know why I’m good at this but I am.
It’s hilariously infuriating to live my life, sometimes I feel like I’m one of those background characters that you see in movies when someone is sitting at a coffee shop and they need filler characters to make it look like the coffee shop is real and has actual customers. Except I don’t even feel like the ones you can clearly see on camera…I’m the one at the very back that’s blurred out. That’s ok though, I hate myself on camera.
If anyone feels like sharing what they wish they were great at, I’d love to hear about it in the comment section!

Day 1: my blog title explained…

Posted in 30 Day Challenge with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

Hello fellow nutballs…welcome to day 1 of this exciting challenge that I for some unknown reason decided to accept. Why am I putting myself through this?? Oh yeah, cuz in order to be considered a writer, I apparently, must write! So far I’ve been able to get by, with very little effort. Which is how I personally enjoy doing things. The less effort I have to put into something, the better! I mean, I’ve met people, they’ve asked me what I do for a living, I tell them I’m a writer. It was grand! Life as a “writer” was awesome…until one day someone asked me what I’ve written and they wanted to read my work. Yeah. That backfired real quick, but it was fun while it lasted. I did learn something from it though, I learned that I really enjoy being a writer, which is why I am now inspired to actually write. Enough of this though, lets explain my blog title.
From the Nuthouse, With Love started off as a vision, I feel weird saying that because I’ve never explained the meaning of this blog before , but its true. When I first decided I wanted to start my own blog a mental picture formed in my head of myself locked up in a mental institution. There were no doctors in this institution and I was the only patient. Basically it was a white room, there was a window, but it was white as well.  I was dressed in all white but not like a gown or anything, just a white tank top, white shorts and white ankle socks. No shoes. I thought it was a really weird vision I was having because I would never actually wear all white. I feel like it makes me oh so very visible, like there’s some sort of light shining over me, inviting everyone to come and watch what I’m doing. So, that was pretty disturbing. In this room I had a table and a chair and they were brown, I hate the colour brown so this must have been some form of torture technique put there by apparently no one because it didn’t seem like anyone was running this place.
On this table and chair was a pencil with a dull lead, with a completely worn out eraser on top and blank sheets of paper. It wasn’t even lined paper! Another torture technique perhaps, every line I would write slanted, it was horrible.
So I’m sitting at this disgusting brown desk, writing with my dull pencil, being careful not to make any mistakes on my blank paper, getting annoyed because my lines arent straight. My hair is all dishevelled because I do make mistakes when I write and I grab my hair when I get frustrated with those mistakes. I’m writing, frantically, constantly. Writing letters to my family, my friends, my foes. Writing about myself, about work and anything under the sun. Funnily enough wrist never hurt, and it looked as though I’ve been writing for at least 3 years straight. Each piece that I wrote in this place, was always signed  with “From the Nuthouse, With Love”. I thought that was a super cute way of signing my work, and so that became the name of my blog
Now people everywhere will know that when they read anything posted here they can picture the above scenario, and know that even though my thoughts and ideas are crazy, they come from a passionate place. That’s pretty much the whole story. I hope you enjoyed your stay, please come again.