Archive for afraid of traffic

day 5: my greatest fear…

Posted in 30 Day Challenge with tags , , , , , , , , on May 5, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

When I think about fear I usually think about something like a fear of drowning, or a fear of losing a loved one. There are also phobias, which are mental conditions, which cause people to be frightened of things that most people wouldn’t consider to be frightening. For the longest time I didn’t think I had any fears or phobias. I’ve always considered myself to be a strong enough individual to get through any kind of crap that life throws at me, and believe me, life has thrown all kinds of crap right over me. I actually think life hired some sort of crap sniper to follow me around and shoot crap at me in smooth direct hit motions. The point is, I’m still standing. I’ve had many low points, but I’m still here. I’ve done what I needed to do in order to move on from each crap pile the crap sniper shot me with. So when someone would ask me what my greatest fear is, I’ve always said nothing. I don’t have any fears.

When I came to the topic of todays challenge, I actually dove deep inside myself, because there had to be something I was truly afraid of. I’m not some fearless super hero that risks her life everyday to save someone else’s, and even if I were, super hero’s have fears too. So, I took an imaginary elevator from my brain, down past my heart, right into the pit of my stomach. Where those feelings of fright start brewing. I took a walk, it was really gooey and all different shades of red. My shoe got stuck on something of a crimson colour, so I had to grab hold of some veiny type things and hoist myself out, fun times. Looking around, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, everything there had its purpose. I was just about to leave when something silver in the very far distance caught my eye, at first I didn’t think anything of it because I have terrible vision, I should wear glasses, but they broke 7 years ago and I haven’t gotten around to getting them fixed yet. I decided to check it out anyway, might as well while I’m here right? I walked over, and realized this something silver, was behind what looked like a curtain of stomach innards. I pulled them back to reveal a metal box. Not a very big one, in fact, I was able to pick it up, it was light. When I picked it up, I heard a huge clicking noise. The box unlocked.

When I opened this box, all that was in there was a little replica of my first car. A little Pontiac Sunfire, black…it even had my old license plate on it. It had all my old CD’s still on the visor, it was amazing, now I know what some of you are thinking, I’m afraid of my old car. Like the old Stephen King novel it’s going to turn into a modern day Christine. I am sorry to say but that is not the case.

I started to have flashbacks of the last day I drove my car…the accident I had gotten into. Now don’t get all concerned, it wasn’t a major accident, more like a fender bender. However, since then, I have developed a fear of the road, but here’s the kicker…I only have this fear of the road, in high volumes of traffic. That’s when I panic. I’m guessing it’s because my accident occurred during rush hour.  Now this accident happened over 10 years ago, but I have never actually been able to deal with that fear. I haven’t been able to move on from it because I just stopped driving. It’s seems so ridiculous to me though, because now that I am aware of it, I realize that I have had this fear since that day, however I hadn’t really noticed it because when you live in a large city, owning a car is more of a hassle then a necessity.

So there you have it folks, I’m afraid of traffic. I don’t even know how to begin to tackle this one, I mean I could always create a super hero character, who instead of fighting crime, fights traffic…I could call him Captain Rush (hour) because that’s the only time he’s on duty? I dunno…this could be a thing…