day 3: something i wish i was great at…

Posted in 30 Day Challenge, Life with tags , , , , , , , , on May 3, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

I chose this topic for today, because lately I have actually been thinking about what things out there I am actually good at, I honestly wish I was great at ANYTHING else other than what I am good at. I wish I was great at cooking so that I don’t have to put the fire department on standby every time I want to eat a meal. For those of you wondering, yes, I have had to call the fire department while I was heating up a beef patty in the oven. I wish I were great at playing guitar, just like those people who can pick up their guitar anywhere and strum anything and it actually sounds musical instead of sounding like screeching chalkboard fingers murdered a cat who had his testicles chopped off. I know that sounds terrible, but it paints a picture true to what I actually sound like when playing a guitar. I wish I were great with math, instead of having to count on my fingers, then losing the count I had and having to start over again. Speaking of numbers, I wish I were great with money, instead of spending it on useless junk that I absolutely MUST have for no reason. I wish I were great at making things, so that I don’t have to go out and spend my hard earned money on the useless crap that I MUST have. I wish I were great at driving, (also not afraid of the other vehicles on the road), so that I could take my new Jeep out for an occasional spin around the block and not freak out every time I see a car. These are just a few things off the top of my head on what I wish I was great at.
Instead, I am great at things that are ABSOLUTELY useless. Like for example being difficult. I excel at being difficult. I am the most stubborn person I have ever met in my life. I am the biggest fan of devil’s advocacy you will ever meet, for absolutely no reason at all, and it’s because of that I have developed my difficultness. It’s horrible, my friends should hate me for it, but thankfully they don’t…yet.
I am amazing at crosswords, and not the actual impressive ones from the New York Times either, nope…no, I do the shitty ones that you find in local commuting newspapers. The only reason I am actually good at them is because they reuse their words and clues, so really I’m good at remembering, and before you get all supportive about my memory, I’m ONLY good at remembering those particular things because I’ve done so many they are permanently embedded into my brain.
I’m good at not spoiling the endings of shows/books/movies etc…big friggen deal, the internet ruins that anyway so I might as well spoil things. You think I would actually think that way but I don’t. I don’t even know why I’m good at this but I am.
It’s hilariously infuriating to live my life, sometimes I feel like I’m one of those background characters that you see in movies when someone is sitting at a coffee shop and they need filler characters to make it look like the coffee shop is real and has actual customers. Except I don’t even feel like the ones you can clearly see on camera…I’m the one at the very back that’s blurred out. That’s ok though, I hate myself on camera.
If anyone feels like sharing what they wish they were great at, I’d love to hear about it in the comment section!

day 2: a letter to my dogs…

Posted in my dogs are crazy with tags , , , , , , on May 2, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

Dear Luna and Odin

Firstly, I’d like to begin by saying that we enjoy working for you, and we do appreciate that you’ve welcomed us into your lovely home. It’s truly heartwarming. However there are a few things we feel you should know, a few obstacles that have come our way that we felt  we should bring to your attention, just in case you were interested in doing something different, we know how boring life can be when things never change.
Cat Litter: This is waste that has been passed through the colon of the cat. I’m sure you’ve encountered her, she’s the small white and black creature that isn’t very friendly. You ever watch those movies where there’s a grumpy old person with a cane that screams at people to get off their lawns? Yeah she’s basically the cat version of one of those people, stay out of her shit. Literally. Not because she’s a bitch, but because eating poop is not how a dog who has servants should behave. You’re not a heathen for crying out loud, we give you food every day, and we can tell when you’ve eaten it.
Weekend UFC: We have 2 jobs. The first one we have provides us with the money so that we can afford the second one, which is you two. That’s why during the week we wake up early, and we feed you early. We try to keep the same feeding schedule on the weekends, however sometimes we just need that extra 5 minutes. Please understand that extra 5 minutes, is not an invitation for you both to enter the world of UFC. On a side note, if you were to enter the world of UFC, it would not be done by wrestling on our bed. So chill.
Daylight Savings Time: In connection with our last point, please keep in mind that during this time of year, daylight creeps up on you earlier and earlier every day. This is for farmers. It has nothing to do with us. The time of morning, remains the same. We know sunshine is exciting, especially after a long drawn out winter, but pretty soon the sun is going to start shining at 5am. That is not going to be an invitation to wake up and start wrestling each other, nor does it mean your feeding time is going to be earlier. Keep that in mind.
Noises: Noises suck I know, but one bark is more than enough to express your distaste for the matter. I know that sometimes there will be a knock on the door. That’s ok too. It’s not the ones that knock that you have to worry about, it’s the ones that enter without knocking, when your father and I aren’t home, that you have to worry about. Let’s try to learn the difference.
Shit Circles and Shit Walks: Luna, the shit circling is for you, now I understand that when a dog circles just before taking a shit, they are trying to mat down the grass and twigs and stuff. That’s cool, but how many times do you really need to circle? You spin so much that your leash significantly decreases in size, and if that’s not bad enough,  you don’t even shit on that spot. You move to another spot. If that isn’t enough, you don’t even take your dump all at once, you have to separate and dump twice. Like the grass you just used is now too filthy for the rest of your shit. You are my biggest mystery.
Odin, for you we have your shit walks. You’re the only dog I know who has to walk when he poos. Every time I have to pick up your poo, it’s almost as if you’ve drawn me a shit picture, and I have to connect the poo’s to see what it is. I appreciate different forms of art, so I think “Hey, this might be cool”. Except I do, and there’s no picture, so I’m left disappointed every time. Are you doing this to fuck with me? If so, please have pity, life fucks with me enough, you’re suppose to be my loyal companion, not a fucker.
These are just a few things that you can work on to make our lives easier. Please keep in mind that even if you don’t we still love you anyway, because like your love for us, our love for you is also unconditional.

Love, Your Loyal Servants
Mommy & Daddy

Day 1: my blog title explained…

Posted in 30 Day Challenge with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

Hello fellow nutballs…welcome to day 1 of this exciting challenge that I for some unknown reason decided to accept. Why am I putting myself through this?? Oh yeah, cuz in order to be considered a writer, I apparently, must write! So far I’ve been able to get by, with very little effort. Which is how I personally enjoy doing things. The less effort I have to put into something, the better! I mean, I’ve met people, they’ve asked me what I do for a living, I tell them I’m a writer. It was grand! Life as a “writer” was awesome…until one day someone asked me what I’ve written and they wanted to read my work. Yeah. That backfired real quick, but it was fun while it lasted. I did learn something from it though, I learned that I really enjoy being a writer, which is why I am now inspired to actually write. Enough of this though, lets explain my blog title.
From the Nuthouse, With Love started off as a vision, I feel weird saying that because I’ve never explained the meaning of this blog before , but its true. When I first decided I wanted to start my own blog a mental picture formed in my head of myself locked up in a mental institution. There were no doctors in this institution and I was the only patient. Basically it was a white room, there was a window, but it was white as well.  I was dressed in all white but not like a gown or anything, just a white tank top, white shorts and white ankle socks. No shoes. I thought it was a really weird vision I was having because I would never actually wear all white. I feel like it makes me oh so very visible, like there’s some sort of light shining over me, inviting everyone to come and watch what I’m doing. So, that was pretty disturbing. In this room I had a table and a chair and they were brown, I hate the colour brown so this must have been some form of torture technique put there by apparently no one because it didn’t seem like anyone was running this place.
On this table and chair was a pencil with a dull lead, with a completely worn out eraser on top and blank sheets of paper. It wasn’t even lined paper! Another torture technique perhaps, every line I would write slanted, it was horrible.
So I’m sitting at this disgusting brown desk, writing with my dull pencil, being careful not to make any mistakes on my blank paper, getting annoyed because my lines arent straight. My hair is all dishevelled because I do make mistakes when I write and I grab my hair when I get frustrated with those mistakes. I’m writing, frantically, constantly. Writing letters to my family, my friends, my foes. Writing about myself, about work and anything under the sun. Funnily enough wrist never hurt, and it looked as though I’ve been writing for at least 3 years straight. Each piece that I wrote in this place, was always signed  with “From the Nuthouse, With Love”. I thought that was a super cute way of signing my work, and so that became the name of my blog
Now people everywhere will know that when they read anything posted here they can picture the above scenario, and know that even though my thoughts and ideas are crazy, they come from a passionate place. That’s pretty much the whole story. I hope you enjoyed your stay, please come again.

i have challenged myself to a duel…

Posted in 30 Day Challenge with tags , , , , , , on April 26, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

Except, I’m only fighting with myself, and I’m not technically fighting…you see for someone who wants to start a writing career, I don’t write nearly as much as I should. It’s definitely not for lack of material either. I have the ideas, it’s just that  I usually get my thoughts and ideas of what to write when I’m on the go, and if I can be truly honest (I love that I can be so honest here) I’m super lazy so I don’t want to reach in my bag to grab something to jot them down with. It’s horrible. I know it’s horrible, and yet I still do it. It actually bothers me because how lazy does one have to be? Technology has made things so easy that you can just write stuff down on your phone, hell you could just take voice memo’s or “Captain’s logs”. You don’t even need to carry a pen and notebook around anymore! Ugh! I make myself sick sometimes.
I was reading something on the internet the other day, it said that in order to re-wire your brain and get yourself to think or to do something differently, you have to change your pattern and keep your new pattern for 30 days. Now, I’m not the most patient person on the planet. In fact, I think I will go as far as saying I have absolutely no patience what-so-ever, but I think I can handle 30 days, otherwise this will have to be a 30 week challenge and that doesn’t sound as compelling.
In order to help myself I have come up with a plan of action..(can I just interrupt myself for a minute to say, GO ME!). Starting May 1st, I am going to do a 30 day writing challenge. Yes, you read that correctly, by the end of May there should be 30 new blog posts, this blog has never gotten that much action! I have about 45 topics that I have either come up with, or tailored to my preference. I will be writing about anything from my greatest fears, to my views and opinions on religion. There will be no holding back. Not that I ever had the problem of holding back. In fact the challenge for me is to actually find the time to sit down and write something. So…I hope I can last for 30 days…jeez, is it just me or does the month of May all of a sudden seem like it’s so long? …just me?…great…
Let’s see if I have the stamina it takes to be a writer! Wish me luck!

 

job search ventalation…

Posted in Rants on April 21, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

Recently I have begun a job search. I say recently because if I say how long it has actually been people might start to wonder what it is about me that is so painfully unemployable. I think my major problem is there’s bullshit everywhere, and I hate bullshit, so when I see an ad that looks like bullshit, I’ll still apply, but I’m not as enthusiastic as the ad wants me to be. That being said, I’m sure the receivers of my resume can also tell how unenthusiastic I am about applying for these positions, especially when the ads state they’re looking for an “enthusiastic individual”, and my resume screams how uninterested I am in these positions I am applying for.
Realistically though, how passionate about this job does one have to be? I can understand, if someone went to school, and studied for years to become something. That’s passion, that’s devotion; they have a goal in mind and that’s what drives them. I get it. Someone like myself though, who’s just looking for an entry-level position that’s closer to home, just wants a job to pay the bills. Transferring calls to their correct extensions doesn’t give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Helping someone figure out what department they need to speak to doesn’t give me a sense of glorification, and signing for a package doesn’t get my panties in a frenzy.
It’s a simple process, companies need people to do the odds n ends jobs that no one else has time for or wants to do, someone like myself needs money, which leads to companies paying folks like myself to work for them.  So what I am really getting at is why can’t we all just call a spade a spade, or however that saying goes. We don’t need to over-glamourize a position that pays you just enough so that you can be broke for 4 days before your next paycheck. Tell me what you’re looking for and what needs to be done, but spare me the bullshit of enthusiasm, I’ve been doing the job for over 10 years, and trust me, it’s not exciting.

-END RANT-

 

 

surprise!, you have to wait…

Posted in Random Thoughts, Rants, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

I’d like to start off this post by stating that I absolutely LOVE surprises. I really do, I mean who doesn’t love hearing “I’ve got a surprise for you!”. I love hearing those words, they bring instant sparkle to the instant smile that pops up on my face. You just instantly know it’s going to be something good. It’s such a universal feeling, and what I mean by that, is that no matter who says it to you, you know it’s going to be something in your favour. No one is going to say “I’ve got a surprise for you!…I accidentally got dog poo all over your curtains”.  A surprise is always something that is intended to put a smile on your face. The way I see it, is even if the Grim Reaper himself appeared to you and said “I’ve got a surprise for you!” you know it MUST be followed by something along the lines of you getting to live. Unless of course good ol’ GR has a terrible sense of humour. I can’t say for sure, I don’t actually know him, but you get my point.
That being said, there are two types of surprise-givers. Ones who say “Hey, I got you a surprise!” and then they hand over or show you what the surprise is, all in the same moment. So essentially you’re getting two surprises, the first one being the surprise of first hearing/knowing about the surprise, followed by the actual surprise. Plain. Simple. Effective.
Then you have the other folks, or the “God love’ems” as I like to call them, because in reality they really do mean well. They start out in the same way, by saying “Hey, I got a surprise for you!…”,  sometimes they even do it in a sing songy voice, which is meant to entice you even more, because apparently when things are presented in song our brains are hardwired to become even more excited. I’m not sure if this is a fault or blessing in general, but in this case it’s definitely a fault. I also have come to notice that it usually happens when you’re on the phone with your generous bestower. Almost as if they want to send your brain into a whirling tornado of questions that can’t be answered just yet, because you’ll have to wait and see. You can ask them what it is, but the answer will always be “you’ll have to wait and see” and if you persist…you eventually get, “I can’t tell you, or it will ruin the surprise!”…*facepalm*. News flash to all you God love’ems out there, you’ve already ruined the surprise, because now I am filled with not joy or happiness but a yearning…does anyone know what it’s like to yearn?  You’ve managed to turn an event intended to put a smile on my face into a gut wrenching need, need for what you might ask? I don’t know because according to you I’m gonna have to wait!!!

~end rant~

 

 

…welcome back me!

Posted in Uncategorized on January 28, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

Hello my fellow followers, Happy New Year! I hope everyone’s year is off to an amazing start! Mine’s been alright so far, nothing new or exciting has happened…yet…but we’re still early on in the year so there’s much hope yet! 🙂

I have to be honest, I was strongly considering deleting this blog, because I haven’t really been writing lately, and I haven’t really been in the mood to write. It’s not that I have lack of topic ideas, because topic ideas are always coming to me. It’s just that they come to me at the most in-opportune time, like when I’m Christmas shopping or playing video games. Sure I can make a mental note and write them out later, but I’m what I like to call an “in the moment” writer. Once the moment has passed, my passion is gone. Perhaps that’s why I will never make it as a writer, my candle burns out long before….hahaha sorry I couldn’t resist that. As you can see I’m still keen on making myself laugh.
So what changed my mind? Some of you may actually be dying to know. Like all amazing stories begin, I was on Facebook, minding my own business when…*insert suspenseful music here*…I clicked on the fancy new “on this day” thingy, which led me to a slew of posts I made 1, 2, 3, even 5 years ago on this day…and I came across a post I made entitled “The Battle of Life Part 1: Awakening”. I read it, I smiled, because let’s face it you have to smile when reading something you wrote from the past, it’s a mandatory step when things from the past come to light. After I smiled, I decided I can’t just let this blog die. Even if I never make it as a writer (and for the actual real writer’s out there that are actually reading this, please refrain from pointing out the harsh truth!) I can still do this for what I like to call “shits and giggles”.
There you have it folks, it’s official, I’m back again, I’m gonna write again, and as I typed that I had The White’s Stripes-Seven Nation Army song going on in my head. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, but for the sake of being positive let’s just say it is!
Alright, this is me, signing off…