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day 4: my dream job…

Posted in 30 Day Challenge, Rants, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on May 4, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

I’ve thought a lot about this, and not just for the purpose of this blog either. This is a topic I have spent literally years thinking about. I have constantly been thinking about what I want to do with my life career wise, and there are so many things I would instantly trade my current job in for. When I say many, I mean that there are so many things that sound better then what I currently do for a living. Realistically speaking, my job now isn’t horrible. It’s a respectable job and it pays my rent and bills. If I’m particularly lucky I may even have a dollar or two left over to buy myself a coffee or an iced cap. However, to me, it feels horrible because it’s just not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. So if I meet someone that tells me they shovel elephant shit for a living, that is something I will actually consider for a possible career change. Shoving big heaping piles of elephant shit for some reason sounds better to me then answering phones and transferring calls.
One might ask why, which is a completely valid question. The simple answer is, that working in an office just isn’t my style. I hate the dress code that comes with working in an office, I feel ridiculous in “proper office attire”. I also feel that this dress code is completely pointless, as long as I’m getting my work done, what does it matter what I’m wearing. It does though, because in the office world, image is everything. Which brings me to my next point. I’m not one who cares about image or what people think, therefore if something I am wearing causes you to think I am a particular type of person, good for you. It really makes no difference to me what people say, because I know who I am. In the office world though, people judge you based on your appearance, which I feel is truly sad. Also, I have come to notice that in the office world being fake is the new real. You can’t speak your mind, to your co-workers or to clients. If someone pisses you off, you can’t say “Hey quit dicking around and give me that report that I’ve been asking for since last week”. No, you have to say “I know you’re busy but when you get a chance could I please have that report”. It’s bullshit. I hate bullshit, so me and the office world truly don’t mix. Which should explain to you why I’d rather shovel elephant crap for a living. Plus I think the pay is way better than what I make, so there’s another plus.
Seeing as there are no elephants in Canada anymore I am forced to cross that off my list of dream jobs, because I refuse to commute that far, and also moving to a different country is far too complicated, and I’m fairly lazy. So I suppose a job where I can sit at home in my underwear, writing nonsense such as this, would be more ideal and more fitted to the lifestyle I want to live.

surprise!, you have to wait…

Posted in Random Thoughts, Rants, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

I’d like to start off this post by stating that I absolutely LOVE surprises. I really do, I mean who doesn’t love hearing “I’ve got a surprise for you!”. I love hearing those words, they bring instant sparkle to the instant smile that pops up on my face. You just instantly know it’s going to be something good. It’s such a universal feeling, and what I mean by that, is that no matter who says it to you, you know it’s going to be something in your favour. No one is going to say “I’ve got a surprise for you!…I accidentally got dog poo all over your curtains”.  A surprise is always something that is intended to put a smile on your face. The way I see it, is even if the Grim Reaper himself appeared to you and said “I’ve got a surprise for you!” you know it MUST be followed by something along the lines of you getting to live. Unless of course good ol’ GR has a terrible sense of humour. I can’t say for sure, I don’t actually know him, but you get my point.
That being said, there are two types of surprise-givers. Ones who say “Hey, I got you a surprise!” and then they hand over or show you what the surprise is, all in the same moment. So essentially you’re getting two surprises, the first one being the surprise of first hearing/knowing about the surprise, followed by the actual surprise. Plain. Simple. Effective.
Then you have the other folks, or the “God love’ems” as I like to call them, because in reality they really do mean well. They start out in the same way, by saying “Hey, I got a surprise for you!…”,  sometimes they even do it in a sing songy voice, which is meant to entice you even more, because apparently when things are presented in song our brains are hardwired to become even more excited. I’m not sure if this is a fault or blessing in general, but in this case it’s definitely a fault. I also have come to notice that it usually happens when you’re on the phone with your generous bestower. Almost as if they want to send your brain into a whirling tornado of questions that can’t be answered just yet, because you’ll have to wait and see. You can ask them what it is, but the answer will always be “you’ll have to wait and see” and if you persist…you eventually get, “I can’t tell you, or it will ruin the surprise!”…*facepalm*. News flash to all you God love’ems out there, you’ve already ruined the surprise, because now I am filled with not joy or happiness but a yearning…does anyone know what it’s like to yearn?  You’ve managed to turn an event intended to put a smile on my face into a gut wrenching need, need for what you might ask? I don’t know because according to you I’m gonna have to wait!!!

~end rant~

 

 

…welcome back me!

Posted in Uncategorized on January 28, 2016 by fromthenuthousewithlove

Hello my fellow followers, Happy New Year! I hope everyone’s year is off to an amazing start! Mine’s been alright so far, nothing new or exciting has happened…yet…but we’re still early on in the year so there’s much hope yet! 🙂

I have to be honest, I was strongly considering deleting this blog, because I haven’t really been writing lately, and I haven’t really been in the mood to write. It’s not that I have lack of topic ideas, because topic ideas are always coming to me. It’s just that they come to me at the most in-opportune time, like when I’m Christmas shopping or playing video games. Sure I can make a mental note and write them out later, but I’m what I like to call an “in the moment” writer. Once the moment has passed, my passion is gone. Perhaps that’s why I will never make it as a writer, my candle burns out long before….hahaha sorry I couldn’t resist that. As you can see I’m still keen on making myself laugh.
So what changed my mind? Some of you may actually be dying to know. Like all amazing stories begin, I was on Facebook, minding my own business when…*insert suspenseful music here*…I clicked on the fancy new “on this day” thingy, which led me to a slew of posts I made 1, 2, 3, even 5 years ago on this day…and I came across a post I made entitled “The Battle of Life Part 1: Awakening”. I read it, I smiled, because let’s face it you have to smile when reading something you wrote from the past, it’s a mandatory step when things from the past come to light. After I smiled, I decided I can’t just let this blog die. Even if I never make it as a writer (and for the actual real writer’s out there that are actually reading this, please refrain from pointing out the harsh truth!) I can still do this for what I like to call “shits and giggles”.
There you have it folks, it’s official, I’m back again, I’m gonna write again, and as I typed that I had The White’s Stripes-Seven Nation Army song going on in my head. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, but for the sake of being positive let’s just say it is!
Alright, this is me, signing off…

the “hate-it” list (volume 1)…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on August 1, 2014 by fromthenuthousewithlove

I noticed the other day, that I hate a lot of things. I don’t just mean a general dislike, I am not one of those people who uses the word “hate” lightly, when I hate I actually do so with every fiber of my being. I actually HATE so many things, so I decided to make a list (Oddly enough I love making lists, I just hate when I can’t remember what to put on the list!) of all the things that I hate. When I began feeling the early symptoms of carpel tunnel, I knew it was time to stop. I hated that too. I also hated that I made this list without having anything to do with it, so I’ve wasted my precious time. Which is why I now have to share with you the first 2 items on the list (note that they are not in any particular order, they are all hated equally), because I took the time to write it, the least you can all do is take the time to read it! If you’re unlucky enough, I’ll make a volume 2. I would have added them all in this one blog, but unfortunately I have a life to live.

1. Lemons: Before you go on jumping to conclusions, let me just say that it’s not the sourness that I hate. That is actually their one redeeming quality. If lemons only issue were that they were sour, we would get along quite nice. I would even go so far as to purchase lemons and make them a part of my life, but alas, life is not forgiving at times. Sometimes life likes to take things a step too far, which I imagine is where the term “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” began coming into effect because people started adding lemons to meals and beverages claiming to give their food a bit of zest, or a little kick. Do you know what happens to foods and beverages when you add a squirt of lemon juice, just for flavour!? War happens. An unfair war to be precise. You see, inside a lemon, live one million little tiny flavour burst soldiers, I like to call them “flavourettes”, when you squeeze a lemon onto your food or into your drink, you are actually squeezing these flavourettes onto your food. Their name may sound cute but these little bastards are mean and they break down your food molecules with their even tiny-er, but still very powerful, squirt guns of lemonic (notice how it is quite similar to demonic) destruction. Your meals and beverages do not have the man power to defend themselves against this attack. All they can do is wave the little white flag of defeat. The little white flag quickly turns yellow, the flavourettes have won, so now when a bite or sip is taken, all you taste is the vile victory of lemon.

2. Winter: Why is this even a seasonal option? I would actually like a word with the inventor of winter. I want to know who thought it would be a great idea create this horridness and call it a season. Hey, let’s lower the temperature to -19, and that’s not bad enough let’s get these nice lemons and rub them on their open cold sores by throwing in massive amounts of wind chill so that the temperature drops to -47. Then let’s raise the temperature up to -7 for 3 days straight, get them nice and used to something mild, only to slap them with ice storms and blizzards. The only thing worse than winter itself, is the people who say “Oh, I love winter!, when it’s summer there’s only so many clothes you can take off to cool down, but in winter you can layer up to stay warm”. Yes, once you’re naked you cannot further undress, but there are only so many layers one can add-on before you start feeling like a marshmellow, and then starts impeding you’re ability to bend and move, and therefore contributing to further de-circulization of the blood cells causing your body temperature to drop further because you have no more blood flowing and increasing the risk of hypothermia and the like. Also, I feel I should mention this seeing as it is a hate post, anything that I normally hate throughout the year, is multiplied by 100 in the winter; and I hate math so imagine how that makes me feel.

I’ll let these sink in before, I flood your brains with anymore.

Hah! That rhymed, I’m tired, peace out!

this means war…and peace…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on May 31, 2012 by fromthenuthousewithlove

I arrived home yesterday after work, prepared to attack. I had realized that after 2 days of painful day to day tasks, I could not continue this life anymore. I walked in the door, closed and locked it behind me, which set the tone of “I mean business”.
I had to prepare my strategy. There were many questions I had to take into consideration. I quickly ran down the checklist. Who was going to assist me? I took a deep breath because I realized I was going at this alone. What would be my weapon of choice? I tore the place apart, cleaning products would not be appropriate in this situation, hairspray would also do no justice, I decided to steer clear of my usual provisions as they would do more harm than good. I opened cupboards, pots, pans…completely unsuitable. Opened my dresser drawers, tops, underwear, and an old favorite t-shirt that I thought was gone forever. I put it on, just in case things didn’t go my way, at least I’d have done things fashionably. I shuddered at the thought that things could turn out quite badly, but only for a moment. I couldn’t afford to back down now. After 20 minutes of tearing the place apart looking for appropriate weaponry, all I found was a pair of tweezers. I came the conclusion I was wasting valuable time, I would have to do this with my bare hands, but the tweezers made for a decent back-up plan. Where would the battle take place? I had to scout out the perfect location for attack. I searched outside, through my tiny windows, too many people around, I couldn’t afford to risk others in this mission. It would have to be done in the confines of my underground lair. I decided on the bathroom, it has excellent lighting and it’s small, normally I would go for a place that was not well lit, to avoid being seen, however this particular operation did not require my presence to be camoflaged. I take advantage of these situations when I can because its quite rare. Why was I put on this assignment? Because the culprits need to learn that it’s not ok to do harmful things to people for no reason. I was put here to ensure these things don’t happen again. How will I accomplish my task and defeat the enemy? I would have to use the strength, will, courage entrusted in me from the Gods. With great power comes great responsibility, which is why I am the chosen one. Finally, When will this battle take place? Judging by the symptoms of the attack I realized it would have to be immediate, if not sooner. It could not be put off any longer.
Once I had laid all my groundwork, I quickly assumed my position. Prepared for the worst, I charged towards the miscreant with an irreversable strangle-hold. I had hoped that, that would have been that, however I lost my grip because I became too cocky too quickly, it hastily fired back with a jab to my leg that almost immobilized me, the pain it caused spread quickly all over my body, my legs collapsed, and were no longer usable. I so badly needed a time-out, but in war, you don’t get a time-out. Something you learn very quickly in this field of work. Keep moving, breathe through the pain.
It was at that moment I remembered the tweezers, they were in the bedroom. My legs at this point were limp noodles, completely useless. I army-crawled my way to the dresser, hoisted myself up, and was attacked again in the exact same spot. This time the pain completely blinded me, I let out a scream that some what resembeled that of a large raging mythical character that gets hit in his shoulder with a tiny arrow, and then pulls out the arrow, and becomes enraged. Like that character I became a raging beast. I felt for the tweezers, grabbed them and fell to the floor.
My sight came back due to my anger meter being completely filled, and I had my victim in my sights. Adrenaline was pulsing through my veins. Tweezers in hand, I dove in, gripped it, and pulled that damn ingrown hair out, roots and all.
Victory was mine for the night.

upcoming debut!…did i spell that right??

Posted in Uncategorized on February 16, 2012 by fromthenuthousewithlove

Hi All!
The Nuthouse has been in a bit of a recession due to…well…let’s just say things are getting busy. I wanted to make a quick post to let you all know that I am still runnin this joint! Also to keep an eye out for me in my upcoming performance as Madame Ovarie in a friends “Skitzoes” youtube series. We are filming at a secret location this Saturday, February 18th 2012! I am quite excited, and looking forward to improv-ing (I had originally spelled that “improving” but quickly realized that’s not the case) Look at me I’m a babbling brook! Anywho I know this is a rather short entry, however stay tuned!! 🙂

Much Love
The Nut!

The Introduction…(February 22nd 2010)

Posted in Uncategorized on July 25, 2010 by fromthenuthousewithlove

I came to the decision that I should start blogging recently, as a way to keep track of my thoughts. I used to try to carry a journal with me and a pen. It was the cutest little thing, it was small and black with a bunch of band stickers of my favorite punk bands on it. Problem with that was by the time I would go through my purse to find it, my thought had already escaped, all I’d be left with was a few words of mediocre importance or relevance to the thought. I then tried just writing in the evenings before I went to bed, but my brain started thinking faster then I could write, and I’d have so much to write that my hand would often cramp. I think that was because I pressed too hard when I was writing. I’d make a point to stop, but these days it’s rare to use pens and pencils. In other words one thing led to another, and here I am posting a blog.

I’m going to leave that as my introduction, because I dislike talking about myself in an introductory manner. It reminds me of job interviews for office world.

Peace!