I have just conjured up an excellent idea! I’m so excited about this, I just came up with it on my way into work this morning, and you all are the ones I am sharing it with first! So feel special my fellow nutballs! Make sure you’re comfortable, if you smoke, light up a smoke, if you don’t smoke in your cell read this first then go outside and smoke while thinking about what a fantastic idea this is. Are you ready?…here it is…TTC-HIP!
Most of you, well, no let me rephrase, ALL of you are wondering what the heck TTC-HIP is. Some of you are probably thinking it might be a condition you get from riding the rocket, and for the non Torontonian folks no it’s not a sexual term. Let me start walking you through by asking this: What is one thing Canada is known for? (Hint: It’s not bacon or igloos). It’s health care! If you’re a resident of the Canadian province of Ontario, you have something called an OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan) which is funded by the government (or at least the taxes you pay go into its funding). Now we’re going to take a field trip to the city of Toronto, the big Canadian apple. In this apple, we have the Toronto Transit Commission, or better known as the TTC. Most, if not all residents of this grand city use this as a form of transportation, whether they are using it daily for work, or occasionally when they are too drunk to drive home.
So here’s where my big idea comes in, a small portion of our taxes, should go to public transportation, and anyone who possesses an Ontario health card gets on for free! Well, technically it wouldn’t be “free” because it’s covered by that, small…and I’d like to stress SMALL portion of our taxes. Which brings me to the name I came up with for it.
Toronto Transit Commission Health Insurance Plan, to some of you the name may not sit right, but let me open your minds a little so you can all think like me. Since we are attaching the TTC fares to the OHIP cards, (this is just the boring part of it) it would be an add-on to the card, but wait! there’s MORE! (Oh my GAWD this is so exciting!) In attaching our fares to the OHIP cards, you now hold the title of being TTC HIP!…you’re hip with the transit yo! Which makes it street, and everybody knows being street is the new black (which is not a racial term for those ready to point a finger and call me a racist). Your family and friends will dig it! Hell even the HIPsters will dig it! and everybody knows they don’t dig anything!

I think I could become TTC HIP! Do you?


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