my morning as a secret agent spy…

This morning, I woke up and decided I wanted to try my luck at working as a secret spy. You know, like the ones that organizations not unlike the CIA call on for extremely special cases. I jumped in the shower to get ready for my “day job” and immediately began to work on a plan to test myself, and my abilities, because let’s face it not everyone has the stamina and stealth to be in that particular line of work.
I heard a saying once, that you had to dress for the position you wanted. Once I got out of the shower, I went through my closet to find the most professional looking outfit I could find. A pant suit was what I came up with. While I was putting on this outfit of raw professionalism a thought came to mind,”I am starting to dislike this line of work already”.  It’s ridiculous that I have to wear something so proper while running away from a car that’s about to blow up. I bet there would be a larger survival rate if us secret service people were able to wear more comfortable clothing, it allows far more flexibility of the body, fewer restrictions, and you wouldn’t have to send your clothes to the dry cleaners if you accidentally spilled mustard on your t-shirt, so it saves money too. I haven’t even begun this new line of work and already I’m putting out fires! With this logic, I put on my regular work attire.
I left my place of residence at 0700 hours. I was prepared for whatever came my way. I walked down the street, with dark sunglasses on, so no one could tell if I was looking at them. I passed a group of construction workers, and while walking at an incredibly calm pace I took note of 2 workers talking to each other, while everyone else was hard at work. To the untrained eye it would have seemed that one man was a supervisor of some sort, giving orders to the other, however to my secret service eye, they were clearly working on a plan to smuggle drugs into schools. I continued walking, knowing I had passed my first test. How many more would come my way? I wondered.
The next one happened right away. Again to the regular folks, it would have appeared that I walked into someone because I was busy staring at the construction site. What really happened: Information was leaked that I was on the move, and I was being closely watched, that man I “bumped into” was really trying to plant a bug/tracking device. I was almost unprepared, however that’s usually what happens to us, we always come across as almost unprepared but at the last-minute we use our training and our surroundings to get ourselves out of danger. I stopped short in my tracks, and pulled the ol’ “side step dance”, you know the one I’m talking about? The one that when 2 people are walking towards each other about to collide, and then you both get the idea to move, but you end up still being in each others way, and it happens about 3 times before one of you decides to just stop and let the other pass? Yeah, it’s silly but it worked, bug/tracking device mission planting…FAILED! I was extremely proud of myself, I was a natural!
I reached the subway, watching everyone and everything around me, for I didn’t know what my next task would be. There was a seat available, however I felt standing would keep me more aware, and ready in case I need to make some form of quick getaway. Using my poker face, I watched each individual, every time someone reached into their pocket, or suit jacket, looking for anyone suspicious, and let me tell you. I spotted at least 34 people who were probably suspicious. It was not my place to do anything at this point though. My mission was to get to my destination without getting found out. I arrived at my stop, and passed the local musician playing the steel drums, he smiled at me and wished me a good day, I smiled back wishing him the same while inside my head I was thinking “he has no friggen clue about me”.
Outside, having my morning smoke and coffee before heading in, I purposely didn’t enjoy either, because agents don’t enjoy their smokes and coffees. They smoke and drink coffee because of the high stress levels of the job, and also to keep them awake during their long shifts. Which quite frankly, nothing usually happens on the entire length of their shift so taking a few hours to actually sleep would be beneficial for the agent as he/she gets more sleep and can function better…and also it saves the company money.
I went inside, took off my sunglasses and smiled proudly, first attempt showed me I would be a great asset. I think I may truly consider this career change.


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