Moses Vs Vitamin P Part 2: Strike of the Minion

I bet you all thought that the whole situation was under wraps, over, done with! Well guess what folks! you couldn’t have been more wrong. The minions of Moses strike again. You see, I was sitting at home peacefully, about to retire for the night. My cat, or “The mistress of the unseen” as I like to call her was all tuckered out in a little ball on my bed. Things were calm, peaceful. I climb into my night-time outfit. Which if I might add, once I am in my night-time outfit, defending against an attack is almost impossible as I find it uncomfortable to sleep with armour. I suppose Moses had figured this out as well during his last visit, as he had time to scope out my wardrobe. Needless to say he made a mental note of when to attack.
I lay down in my bed, got under my blanket and was just about to close my eyes for the next 8 hours when my cat jumps up in full arch back mode, tail poofed out, and was glaring at a particular spot. I figured she sensed an unfamiliarity of some sort of spiritual realm, and decided to just let it be. I tried to fall asleep however I noticed that my cat was still in full archery. I found this to be unusual as she looked like a frightened pinata. I followed her gaze, I noticed nothing. She was staring at the carpet. I was about to look away when I saw movement. “That’s strange” I thought to myself, “Carpet fibers don’t usually move on their own…” I continued to stare and that’s when I saw it. Movement. Ever so graceful it crept. Too far from any provisions, I had to act fast. With a swift roll and tumble out of the bed, I reached for the water bottle on my nightstand in mid air, a move that should never be performed without supervision (and thanked my good sense for allowing me to sleep with a bottle of water on my night stand every night.)I shimmied over in a smooth snake-like fashion towards the spot where I discovered the movement, looked around…nothing…
Water bottle in hand, I stood up, “you have to be around here somewhere!!” I shouted. I made my way to the bathroom, grabbed the toilet plunger, went into the kitchen and grabbed 2 sheets of paper towel. I then went back to the bedroom, watching my back the entire time. My cat was asleep on the bed, sleeping gas. I should have known. I grabbed my belt and fastened it around my waist along with the water bottle and plunger. I had just finished tying the bandana around my head when I noticed movement through the mirror. I turned around, knocking over some hairspray and nail clippers off my dresser,  and there it was, in full camoflague. I used my animalistic instincts, jumped backwards and landed behind it, I took the plunger and cupped it over when I heard it’s plea. “You can’t kill me, I’m only Horace, a messenger”. It cried…I was weary, but I knew he was in no position to attack so I lifted the plunging device. I looked at him standing pathetically, all 8 legs quivering in fear. “Moses sent me, to tell you, it’s not over” He shrieked. “Tell me something I don’t know” I replied. “Is that all?” I asked, “yes, that and…prepare to meet your doom” Suddenly, without warning he started to get bigger, from the size of my pinky fingernail, to the size of my thumbnail. I was able stop him from growing anymore by dumping water on him. It caught him off guard long enough for me to grab the nail clippers. I managed to disable 3 of his legs before he came to. Screaming in agony he retreated, I placed the disabled legs onto his back, “I want you to return to Moses, with this message – Challenge Accepted, Bitch!” and sent him limping on his way…
I was able to sleep soundly, for one more night.


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