Hi…

I sit and wonder about things all the time. For example, what was the world like before words were created? Is the world reverting back to the days when words were scarce?  Most importantly, how is one suppose to engage in conversation with people that are moving backwards through time? I know these questions have been burning holes through your brain veins which has probably caused many sleepless nights, and for some of you, you may even have lost your jobs over this due to the fact that the veins in your brain caused a malfunction which no longer enables you to do your day to day tasks. Lucky for you, my questions come equipped with answers, now for those of you that have the brain vein holes, unfortunately I won’t cure that.  Not because I don’t have the ability, because lets face it, I have all abilities, but more because well, I’m pretty tired and let’s face it, you allowed it to happen so really, it’s not my battle, and I refuse to accept responsibility for it.
Before words were created people relied mainly on facial expressions, it was simple, it got the point across. There were only 4 expressions. Anger, which was created by the vikings because they liked to yell and shout. Confusion, which was created by the cavemen, because they were not unitelligent…but they raised alot of eyebrow. Sadness was created by Adam and Eve, let’s face it those two had an awesome life and then they fucked up. Happiness was created by the monkey which then evolved into man, and man was so happy to shed a large portion of the body hair that he uttered his first word, “YIPPIE!” Now some of you may be wondering how these 4 events in time can co-exist simultaniously, which is quite simple, Multi-Dimensional Time Travel. Don’t ask me how I know about this, because chances are you won’t understand the reasoning behind it and that would cause quite a stir. We don’t want to cause any stirs.
Living with today’s technology, I find that words are being used less. It’s almost as if after all these years of speaking, our tongues have gotten exhausted, which was why texting was brought to our attention, and now, so much texting has been done that our fingers are tired as well, so we send messages like “Hi”. I hate that. The “Hi”. Don’t make my phone buzz for that please. If you do, I will be forced to place you in the “your text messages are not important” category in my little filing system, and when I get a message from you, chances are I’ll read it only when I receive a message from someone who has substance in their texts, and then I will also be forced to not reply to you, because really? whats the point? Now if you’ve paid close enough attention to what I’ve written here today, you’ll notice that to the naked eye, it may seem like I completely skipped out on answering the third question. However, I didn’t, I did what I like to call, “Subliminal Answering” and THAT my friends is the brilliance that gets me through my everyday life. What’s yours?

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