crazy lunatic seat stealer…

I ride the subway for a living, and by riding the subway for a living I mean I use it pretty much 90 to 95 % a month, and I have been doing so for about 95 % of my life. One thing I have noticed in my career as a “rocket rider” is that people just absolutely DIE for a seat. There are a few people that could care less if they got a seat or not, but it’s very few. This morning I had an incident with a crazed lunatic seat stealer. Yes that’s what I call him because that was how he behaved, and yes, it was a HIM!! I know, shocking!
So I am getting on the subway, and normally if I decide to have a seat I usually pick one closest to the doors I used to get on, if there is nothing in that jurisdiction I just stand, but this morning the subway was fairly empty so I figured yay! I get to sit and read my book. I make  my way to a seat that I had scouted out, next to an attractive member of the opposite sex of course! I’m literally 2 steps away from the seat when BAM! like a bolt of lightning a suited man just slides in and steals the seat I was going for! Now for me I don’t much care that he took the seat because there were plenty of others to choose from, but it was more the way he went about doing it that irked me. He got on from a door further away from the seat then I was, and it’s not like there weren’t any seats on his way to my destination. He made a bee-line and swooped the seat right from under me! I had to act quick and re-calculate my path, and sit beside the Fat Lady that took up half of my seat, so half of my butt was off of the seat, because I had to think quick and just took the first seat I saw.

Below is a re-inactment of this mornings events to help illustrate my point!
E=Empty Seat
SM=Sleeping Man
DL=Lady with Dragon printed Bag (Dragon Lady)
FL=Fat Lady
M, S, D – Mother, Son, Daughter
BL= Lady with multiple Bags (Bag Lady)
CG=Cute Guy
CLSS = Crazy Lunatic Seat Stealer

As you can see from the diagram below, he had plenty of seating to choose from, which leads me to believe he was put on this earth to single handedly disrupt my life!

CLSS Life Disrupting Strategy

What did I learn from this scenario? Always stay in attack mode, don’t let your guard down kids. This time it was just a seat, next time, it could be your arm!


2 Responses to “crazy lunatic seat stealer…”

  1. Sean Cullen Says:

    proving once again that douchebaggery is very much an epidemic

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